(( OOC Post )) On the issue of 'Active' vs. 'Inactive' Characters

I wanted to write something up here to clarify what I mean by 'Active' and 'Inactive' when referring to my characters. Basically, I make the distinction so people who are looking for me know who to look for me on when they don't care which of my characters they're interacting with or just need to find me in game. That's really all there is to it. I have a note to myself to glance at the list twice a month, adjust as needed, and republish if anything's changed.

Several things go into labelling a character as 'Active'. Mostly, it's who I've been RP'ing of late, who I'm focusing on writing for (not that I won't write whatever comes into my head for any character), who people are asking me to log in, or people who are involved in something going on in RP (like the Dheroveer plot). I generally have chosen one or two 'default' characters to log in to go hang out in open RP settings (usually the cantina at the Slopes or on Fleet or where ever people are gathering) who are likely to blend in or interact in a way that makes sense for those types of settings.

'Inactive' characters are simply characters that I haven't RP'd for one reason or another in a while. I'm happy to get them involved in things, bring them out to RP with a specific player's character in private, or even bring them to a social function they were specifically invited to.

That's it. That's all. That's the big distinction.

So, if you haven't seen me on a character in a while, it's not that I don't want to RP them. It's because I have nothing for them to RP. If you want to see me drag them off the shelf, I'm happy as hell to do it! Give me something to do with them!

OOC Rant Regarding Asshole Characters

I have no issues with asshole characters. A lot of us have characters who can be considered assholes or bitches or downright unpleasant and/or evil. I RP with a few characters who fit this description without incident. However, here's some food for thought...

When you play a character like this, your ooc communication and your IC/OOC separation must be that much more clear to distinguish yourself as a competent RP'er and not an utter jackass yourself.

Using "Well, my character is an asshole" as an excuse to be offensive in OOC communications, to refuse to negotiate an OOC method of resolution to adjudicate an IC altercation - especially with players who have no experience RP'ing with you personally, to justify auto-hits...this makes you someone no one wants to RP with. Using "Welcome to RP'ing with people from my guild" will tell other RP'ers to avoid you and your guildies at all costs.

This is a sure fire drama-maker people, and it will not be accepted anywhere near me. Further, I encourage my fellow RP'ers to make this distinction as well to send a clear message that this kind of OOC behavior is unacceptable in this or any RP community.

Thank you for your time.

Best Wishes

Non-rp related post - What's going on

Update (12/21): Thanks to help from family, we will be able to stay where we're at through December. We're not out of the woods, but we're not homeless! :)

So, to recap what most of you already know, right after Thanksgiving, we moved out of our two bedroom apartment to an extended stay motel to reduce our cost of living expenses and close out our utility bills which were severely overdue, letting our deposits cover the outstanding late payments.

The move was supposed to be helpful. It put us five minutes away from Mike's job, and with the car acting up and money tight, it guaranteed that even if he couldn't drive to work, he could walk there. Our son is leaving for basic training in the Air Force on January 6th, so he moved in with my parents earlier in the month so that they could take care of him until he leaves.

Then, of course, everything went wrong. A week after we moved, Mike got fired, and my parents kicked my son out on the same day. Mike has managed to get a lower paying job that, ironically, is closer to our old apartment than here. It wouldn't be enough to really do more than continue to pay for our stay here (not including food or gas), but it would be something. My son moved in with us into our tiny little room, and we have spent the last couple of weeks adjusting and getting as much help as family could manage to give.

And now, today. Today, Mike's old boss was supposed to give him his last week's pay plus vacation pay. It would have helped us get through to his first paycheck from the new job, which pays bi-weekly but holds back the first check for a delay. Mike's old boss got together with his CPA and managed to whittle what should have been an 800 dollar paycheck down to less than 400. Basically, what this boils down to is that the money that was supposed to get us food and at least one more week's rent here will do one, but not the other, and that doesn't even take into consideration gas money for the car if we can continue to limp it along without the repairs it needs. (If any of you knows a good mechanic, you know that the one car that is always breaking down on him is his own, because God has a sense of humor.)

Mike and I have no idea what we'll do. We're flying by the seat of our pants here, folks, and our pants are unraveling or...ripping...or...whatever works for that metaphor.

I'm fighting anxiety symptoms and panic attacks, and emotionally, I'm all over the place. I haven't been on meds in the two years since my Baker Act emergency hospital thing, and there are moments when it shows, and I apologize for that if it affects you somehow.

RP and writing are a huge coping mechanism for me, so I'll be trying to immerse myself in those things to try to keep the crazy mental health demons at bay.

Now, I'm not going to waste whatever time you and I have for RP or hanging out in game to discuss this. You know I don't like to do that. If I'm directing you here, it's because you've asked what's wrong. This is my IRL these days. Send a positive thought out or a prayer or whatever you do on my behalf, give me a virtual hug, and just get in character with me, please.

Exactly! (OOC Post)

When I read this, I realized this is exactly why Joss Whedon's shows have always appealled to me. This describes exactly the kind of stories I like to RP and why I have so much love for Aittera and characters like her.

"But Joss Whedon's version of a hero doesn't always win. He loses more than he wins, and when he wins, the victories are tiny, but he takes 'em. "That's a victory! I call that a victory!" It's a tiny victory — he takes it, and that's what he walks away with. And that's something I can actually relate to.

That's something that people can relate to — because that's actually life. I don't know a lot of people who win more than they lose. Life is kind of a losing proposition as you go. It's not all winning lotteries every day. It's a lot of "What do I do with this problem? Now how do I handle this?" I think people can relate easier to someone who isn't prepared to handle every single situation, and everything comes out roses and their way, and all they've got to do is be cool. We don't have that in real life."

--from Nathan Fillion's forward in Whedon: The Biography

OOC - What's going on in RL

I'm putting this here rather than on our main blog because I've taken a step back from RP, and I feel like I owe the friends I RP with an explanation. Also, a few of you seem genuinely concerned and interested, and rather than explain this to each of you separately (and squander what little time I can get to RP over the coming weeks), I thought it might be easier to put it all down in one spot. Real life has been biting me in the ass (and in one case, quite literally) for a while now, and it seems like July was my month to finally get overwhelmed by it all.

First off, as most of you know, I have bipolar disorder with general anxiety. For the last couple of weeks, that has meant finally succumbing to a depressive swing that makes my thoughts sluggish, keeps me very tired (and rather than hypersomnia, I get insomnia), and a little snappish/impatient. Mike finally stepped in when I admitted things were going further south than I'd like and encouraged me to take a break, which I did. I can't say I'm all better, but at least I can put a sentence together without stumbling partway through, so I call that progress enough to end the break.

We're having some financial problems. Right now, we're supporting four people on primarily one income (with not near enough help from our roommate), and that income has become inconsistent as problems have arisen at Mike's job. The strain and stress this is causing is enough to make anyone have anxiety, and yes, I'm having a lot of it.

One of the most important coping mechanisms I have for living with bipolar is a stable home environment. However, since the end of last year, my home environment has been steadily changing from "safe and stable" to what can best be described as "hostile". Our landlord refuses to treat the building for a bedbug infestation (and blames it specifically on us, because we reported the problem first), and his (what I can only describe as 'laughable') handymen have been dicking around with fixing our air conditioning since November (which has driven our electric bill through the roof). We also have a family member staying with us who is a nightmare of a roommate.

For about a year now, I've been struggling with what I can only really call a crisis of faith, and I finally, FINALLY, finally have come to a place where I can honestly say - at least to you and myself - that I've found myself changed on the other side of it. My next very real concern is whether my very conservative Baptist family will still be speaking to me once they find out. This causes a great deal of anxiety and worry.

And lastly, we come to the best thing that has happened to us this year. My son has joined the Air Force and will get a full college education and job training that we could never really have hoped to provide for him. I'm very proud and excited for him, and he will be the first person from my side of the family to get a college degree. It means his future will be a lot better than the kind of life we've managed to eek out, and that should be what a parent fights for, in my opinion.

Mike, my son, and I are very close, so the undertow of this is that my baby is leaving for basic training and tech school soon. In fact, they keep moving the estimated date that he'll be leaving us up so that I've gone from having three to six months before he leaves to an estimate of mid-August. So, I'm going to be trying to get as much time with him as I possibly can between now and then.

Beyond that, I will keep you posted on my enjin profile page and the guild forums.

Thanks for reading.