“I want you to authorize a shuttle.
I'm going back to Nar Shaddaa.”
Kol's smile dissolved as he halted his
approach to kiss the fiery redhead who had just stepped into his
private quarters. “I know you're unhappy with what happened, but if
you---”
“What? Stop and think? That's all
I've been doing since the briefing – thinking.” Aittera shook her
head in that slow, incredulous way she had when she felt like she was
completely out of her depth. “I don't belong here.”
“Aittera,” he implored as he took the final step
to bring himself to stand before her, his voice softening as he
touched her cheek. “Yes, you do. You belong here with me, at my
side. We've been through this. I did what was necessary. As Darth
Ragious, I cannot be seen as weak, and I cannot allow two of my
commanders to conspire against me.”
“You executed them without any
evidence,” she asserted, not quite making eye contact. Her stomach
was still churning in spite of how thoroughly she'd emptied it in the
privacy of her own room.
“I told you. I have no doubt in your
assessment.”
“I didn't know I was sentencing them
to death by sharing an observation!” Now she did lift her eyes to
meet his, and he saw the guilt he was already feeling from her.
“You were trained as an assassin for
SIS, Aittera. You've killed people before.”
“I followed orders given to me that
were based on extensive assessment of threats to the Republic. By
killing a handful of people, I saved hundreds, possibly thousands of
lives. Two months with you, and I'm stabbing mercenaries in the neck
and watching you cut off the heads of people I point at.” She
stepped past Kol to pace the room with a pained expression.
“People who would have tried to kill
me and, very likely, you as well,” he reminded her.
“Maybe,” Aittera acknowledged with
a nod. “Or, maybe they would have realized what they were up
against and changed their minds, altered their plans. It's one thing
to anticipate and defend against an attack, and it's another to
outright kill someone for the way they look at you in a briefing.”
Kol bristled as he watched her walk the
small strip of floor between the door and the couch. “Would you
have preferred that I wait for him to attack you? I saw the way he
looked at you! Sith can sense emotion, and the moment he realized you
suspected him, he had reason enough to kill you. I'm not going to
apologize for acting first!”
She stopped her pacing to glower at
him. “I'm not asking you to! I'm just---Damnit, Kol, I shouldn't
have been here in the first place! Hell, they were both Sith! I am
standing here, feeling horrible about causing the death of two SITH!
I'm so out of my element at this moment, I'm beginning to wonder
which way is up!”
Groaning, Aittera sank onto the couch
and rubbed a hand over her face, the fight draining from her as
quickly as it had come. “I don't belong here. I can't live like
this – constantly looking over my shoulder for which member of your
family is going to come after me or which of your men are going to
use me as proof that Darth Ragious's head should be the next one
rolling across the floor. I can't be responsible for the death of
someone's father or son, just because I---”
Kol took a seat beside her on the couch
to put an arm around her. “You're not. I made that decision, not
you. As for looking over your shoulder, can you honestly say you
weren't already doing that before, when we were enemies?”
“You were easier to spot,” she
joked darkly as she let him pull her against his side. “Still, this
is where I need to step off and get some space. I don't recognize
myself anymore. It's not forever, and I'm not...walking away from
whatever this---we---are. You know where to find me.”
