Drama (OOC Rant)

All I really want to do is just rp. It's the most de-stressing activity I have. It gets me out of my own convoluted emotionally fucked up screwed up head where I'm very aware that I once had a genius IQ and a rock solid memory and real potential to be someone but am now defined by a mental illness that makes me “that crazy woman” no one can rely on. It helps me fend off paranoid thoughts, hopeless thoughts, irrational fears, unbearable memories. It's my greatest coping mechanism, gives vent to what creativity hasn't been burned out of me by years of medications and other soul-crushing experiences that, quite frankly, are none of your damn business, so, no, I won't go into detail about them here.


It's an escape. It's fantasy. It's better than a movie or even a good book. It's a game of pretend and make believe. It's a safe place to be.


Now, imagine that I'm in this safe space, relaxed, guard down, and it's invaded with ooc whispers/messages about how Person A is pissed with me or Person B is mad at Person C or how someone thinks I'm a bad person for whatever reason. It chases me out of that safe space and back into a reality where I'm a bundle of insecurities and irrational, where my uncontrollable emotional reactions are waiting to take over. It feels like an attack. It's drama with a capital D. It makes me want to flee, which I often do quite readily.


This is a game. This is supposed to be where I go to have fun. Logically, it would seem to me that if I'm not having fun, then I should go elsewhere. I have enough stress in my real life. I have enough real drama to deal with. I have real problems in the real world.


Let me be clear here. If you choose to yell at me, the player, for what my character does, be sure it's for an RP faux paus and not a character flaw. Be sure you know that what my character does is NOT what I would do in a similar situation. For example, if you met Alan Rickman tomorrow in a grocery store, would you yell at him about what his character, Hans Gruber, did in Die Hard? Would you get into a screaming match with Roderick Thorp (the novelist who wrote the book) about how evil the character he wrote is?

If you can't separate IC from OOC well enough that you have an emotional reaction that makes you yell at me in ooc tells about my character's actions, you will be ignored. If you have a problem with someone else that I'm friends with, don't bring it to me, go talk to them, and stop trying to put me in the middle! I can talk things out rationally if you talk to me rationally, but I'm not the villain in your little personal melodrama.


I'm done being sent into tears every time someone wants to yell at me about how to play my characters. I'm not your whipping post. If you need to vent about something, fine, but don't bring me your issues with someone else and expect me to solve them or stop being friends with someone else on your behalf. I don't do that.


So, back the hell off.