Soulmates

It wasn't until they were standing at the entrance to one of the nicest restaurants on Nar Shaddaa - a fancy place that boasted a stellar show and private dining rooms with amazing cuisine - that Aittera stopped short with a look of uncertainty. She passed a look over to her side at Kol next and shook her head. He didn't need to indicate in any way that he agreed, and they turned hand in hand to go find the nearest taxi stand.

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting at a rickety little table in a tiny diner with windows clouded with age in a rundown neighborhood somewhere near the Red Light Sector. The place wasn't filthy so much as showed signs of age, it's neon sign boasting "Good Noodles" barely half lit. The owner - a little middle-aged Nautolan wearing a white apron tied over thread-bare clothes - stepped out from the kitchen and greeted Aittera with a friendly wave, asking if she wanted the usual. She held up two fingers to indicate herself and Kol, and he disappeared into the kitchen again.

Until this point, they had been somewhat quiet and contemplative, using the excuse of not being alone at the taxi waiting area or waiting for the diner owner rather than make small talk - something she'd always hated anyway. Now, however, she really looked at Kol and smiled. He returned the smile and turned his hand palm up on the table between them.

"Regular place for you isn't it?  I could swear I've been here before, but it might be one of your memories."

Her smile became warmer as her hand slid into place in his, palm to palm, and a light seemed to brighten her eyes from within - as though she'd woken up to find him lying next to her in bed, watching her with affection. That connection that was always there between them now seemed to sizzle to life with fresh energy, and she nodded. "Yeah, I discovered it the first time I really went exploring here a few years ago. Food is decent, nothing flashy or fancy. I just...wanted to be able to talk without all the distractions and fake crap around us."

"I like that.  I go through the motions so much back home, I'm glad I don't have to do that here with you." He closed his hand around hers and brought it to his lips before settling it back down on the table, just keeping hold of it.  His smile reflected affection, then curiosity. "You have things to say to me."

"You don't have things to say to me yet?"

"Oh I have plenty to say to you.  I was being a gentleman and letting you proceed first. Uncharacteristic of me, I know," he teased with a smirk.

Aittera chuckled, dipping her head in the kind of nod that was really more a chance to adjust to the warmth rising in her cheeks than affirmation. "And here I was hoping that you'd go first so I wouldn't feel quite so much like I'm making an absolute fool of myself."

Kol chuckled. "I can, if you want.  I have never had a problem with feeling like I was making a fool of myself."

"You're kidding me. I would have thought that would be the most likely time you'd start killing people off. Can't have anyone around who's seen you as anything but the big and scary Darth Ragious," she teased back.

"I'm always the big and scary Darth Ragious.  Even when I'm Kol, he's just waiting under the surface."  He gave her that grin that was probably a little more predatory and dangerous than he intended, and she laughed.

"So, you first, and we'll take turns?"

He nodded. "So this thing we're going to be doing, why are you involved in it?"

The Nautolan re-emerged from the kitchen with two steaming bowls heaped with thin noodles soaked in a meaty broth with vegetables, a fork sticking out of each one. He set them in front of his only customers, retrieved a pitcher of ice water and two glasses for them, then disappeared into the back again without a word.

"Well, in my work, I hear a lot from all over, and the mercs pass around stories about Iabfra like legends. The Cartel took over that world, and the people fought back tooth and nail over a really long and bloody campaign. It wasn't about outside factions coming in and making it their own battleground like Balmorra, though. It was a people standing up and trying to hold onto what belonged to them, and they didn't lose without a hell of a fight. Just the chance to help set things right..." Aittera gave a slight shrug. "I just couldn't resist."

Kol nodded as he listened, sampling his food, continuing to give her that look of affection as she described her personal motive.  "You like long shot causes."

It's an observation; one particularly fitting considering that the two of them sitting there together enjoying the company of the other was once the same thing.

"I'm torn on it.  Part of me wants to help you more than just by accompanying you.  I could bring an entire armada to bear and liberate the world.  Of course it would draw me into another war, and I really have no desire to fight two at the moment."

Aittera shook her head. "I think that would do more to hurt it in the long run really. These are people fighting for their freedom. If someone were to come in and just hand it to them, it might make them feel like they were seen as weak. They have a saying there - Iabfra overcomes. It's like a mantra that they have held onto all this time, and now, it's being spread like wildfire across the mercenary community, and they're not hiring mercenaries to fight but to train their own people to fight. This is something they want to win back for themselves."

She took a bite of her food here and there as well, the atmosphere of the little run down diner such that nothing felt rushed or hurried. They could probably sit there for hours without interruption.

"And now, it turns out that an old friend has been put in charge of the whole thing, and I know he hated losing that world the first time. I think it'll do him good to be the one that helps them win it, and he's had enough hard times in his life."

"Do I know this friend?"

"I don't know if you know him. His name is Jean Schramme. He ran security on the Promenade for a while."

"The name rings a bell, but I can't place a face.  You know I don't visit the Moon often."

"So, my turn?"

"Yes, your turn. See? I didn't look like a fool, so you shouldn't worry."

They continued to eat as they talked, and Aittera was pleased to see that he seemed to actually enjoy it. Finally, when he had finished his first bowl he asked the Nautolan for a second, and he looked over at her with a grin. "You should be careful, I might have to hire our chef to make this for me on the Avenger, which means he won't be able to keep up this place."

She laughed. "Not sure you'd have room for his family. He has..." She looked over at the smiling Nautolan to confirm, who in turn nodded proudly to each numeration. "...10 children, 34 grandchildren, and his wife and mother living in the building upstairs."

"Okay, so I guess I'll be getting my noodles take out only..."  Kol frowned playfully, bringing another easy laugh from the redhead.

Just like that, the flow of conversation never seemed to stop, and when they finally found themselves ambling along the Promenade later hand-in-hand, it was sparsely populated.  They talked about small things, of course. They both hated the excesses of the Smuggler's Moon, but saw the opportunities it housed. She'd grown up on Coruscant. While he appreciated beauty, he had an eye for the kind of true beauty that could only be found beneath the surface.

And then there were the not so small things.

"I hope this doesn't hit too close to home, because of what happened, but I've wondered ever since I learned about this..." she began as they stopped to lean against a railing to look out over the cityscape without even so much as a gesture from either of them in precipitation. It was barely even a thought for either of them.

"Like I said, I read every bit of intel I could find on you, and most of your known associates fit your reputation. Except one. Why did you choose Temivi to be your apprentice?"

"Because of the way she acted at the choosing ritual.  She was...defiant.  She was perfect.  She's one of my few regrets."  His answer was completely honest. Temivi was his perfect apprentice, and he knew he'd failed her.

"What do you regret?"

"That I wasn't as attentive to her as I should have been," Kol began. "A few other things as well, but they involve a topic I don't think you want to hear about."

"I was able to get a look at a psych eval. She didn't strike me as someone with a killer instinct. It's pretty impressive that she managed to survive the academy."

"Let's just say Temivi was full of talents that weren't evident on paper, and her loss, my failure, lessens the Sith."

"Alright. Now, tell me what you think I don't want to hear."

He spoke one word. "Agonar." His wife's apprentice; a man whose reputation could chill any civilized person to the bone, and by all accounts, only controllable by the Lady Kiabe herself. The nicest reference anyone seemed to have for him was when they referred to him as 'the savage'.

Aittera fixed her gaze on Kol's face, giving him a short nod to encourage him to explain further.

"He's the regret.  If I had not acquired him for my wife, Temivi would likely still be my apprentice, and not merely an echo inside my sister's head."

"What did he do to her, and I'm not sure what that...an echo in her head?"

"Temivi was possessed by the spirit of one of my ancestors.  When it left her body and entered my sister's, an echo of Temivi was taken along with it.  Agonar later murdered Temivi after doing things much worse to her.  She was...no longer pure, and to my dishonor I no longer desired her." His voice was tinged with the regret he felt, and it was apparent that the entire ordeal still bothered him even though it had been years.

Aittera squeezed his hand with a look of sympathy. In fact, not once during this brief explanation did she display anything but the continued desire to understand, and her emotions reflected nothing like the distaste, disappointment, or pity. She had asked, because she wanted to know; and she was prepared for the answer, no matter the light he worried it might cast him in. "Have you spoken with the echo? It might not be her, but it might help you put some of those regrets behind you."

Kol shook his head, grateful that she didn't seem to have judged one of the more shameful moments of his life. "No, when I spoke to my sister, it was to repair that particular rift.  Perhaps in time, I may seek out the part of her that comes from Temivi, perhaps even find a way to return her to flesh once more."

Aittera picked his hand up to bring it to her lips, pulling her palm back in order to press a kiss into his, and they spoke in quieter tones of lost opportunities, dashed hopes of their youths, and dreams that never became reality.

Somewhere along the way, they'd managed to find themselves in her little apartment again as night was slowly inching past to give way to the new day, and she found herself prodding softly. "Your turn."

"Before I ask this, I want to be honest about why.  I want to see your face light up."  He gave her another affectionate smile. "How great is it having the Hope back?"

Kol was right in that the question lit her up, but the smile that accompanied her reaction was bittersweet as she looked down for just a moment before answering. "I knew I missed it, but I had no idea how much of me was missing without it. When I bought it, I was going to fly as far away from home and the SIS as I could get. I told myself that I would find a sun that couldn't be seen from Coruscant, so that my parents couldn't watch from their graves when I flew into that sun to make the pain stop."

There was a shine of emotion in her eyes that might have been tears if she had been anyone else. "I just started flying, and it was like I could hear Davin trying to talk to me. Then, it was like he was trying to talk me out of it. Eventually, I just...had to stop in the middle of nowhere and work my way through it."

"I'm glad of that."  He offered a look that he offered few others - one of sympathy - but for her, it was a look that told her in no uncertain terms that he would have done anything to make that pain never have been felt by her.  Suddenly next to her again, he slipped an arm around her. "I didn't mean to bring up a painful memory, I just knew how much your ship meant to you, that ship.  And wanted to see a look of happiness."

Aittera looked up into his face with an affectionate smile and nodded, grateful for everything from his reaction to the way having his arm around her made her feel like a whole person again. She wasn't feeling that loss she'd just described so much as reminding herself what it would be like to lose this feeling - that she could be complete. "You're the first person I've told that entire story to. I usually brush over the details or refer to a small bit of it and leave the worst out. I'm glad you asked."

He placed a kiss on her cheek, whispering, "It shows me how deeply you love.  And I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell it."

"Is there any other way?" She lifted her hand to touch his chest as she looked into his eyes, finding herself caught there a moment she knew was made up of more than just a simple connection.

"Not for me."

And then his lips were pressed against hers, passion and desire, affection and love, all wrapped up in the intensity of the contact. It was as though she could feel her soul pour itself into his lips as she kissed him, every defense gone, and everything that made her Aittera laid bare before him.

There was an ache in that kind of vulnerability. It was like drawing back layers of skin until there was nothing left between the air and raw nerve, and the intensity of it was overwhelming. It was the kind of feeling that one was supposed to instinctively draw back from in self-preservation, but instead, the one all consuming thought she had in the moment was the understanding that he felt the same thing she did.

As he lifted her into his arms to carry her to the bed, Kol's thoughts turned to how this could and likely would end badly even as he made up his mind that he was willing to take every risk just to be with her that much longer. And as they curled up together on top of the covers, he pulled her close, just hugging her to him to savor the feeling of having her so close.

Aittera pressed her heart against his, resting her forehead into the crease of his neck, each hand clinging to his robes against his sides. She could now sense his feelings almost as strongly as her own, and that was enough to banish any last refuge of practical thought or caution that might have been lingering in the back of her mind. He was as much hers as she was now his, and no matter how terrifying that was, it was the most exhilarating and perfect rush she had ever felt in her life.

(( Added to Aittera and the Dark Lord ))